You ever feel like the universe just has favorites?

Well, let me introduce you to an anonymous nurse from Maryland who apparently made some kind of backroom deal with the gods of statistical improbability. Because for the third time — yeah, third — she’s won a lottery prize in April. Not just any prize either. Her wins are actually escalating, like some kind of ridiculous slot machine anime power-up sequence.

• Year one? $10,000.
• Year two? $20,000.
• This year? A cool $50,000.

At this rate, she’s going to buy a Caribbean island by 2030 using nothing but scratch-offs and an enchanted calendar.

She picked up the latest winning ticket — from a game charmingly titled “Money Bags” (because, of course) — while popping into a deli in Dundalk for lunch. Most of us leave a pub with indigestion or vague regret. She left with fifty grand. Must be nice.

“I do pretty well,” she says.
That’s like Everest saying, “I’m a decent-sized hill.”

Now, you might be thinking, “This is all just luck, right?” But three big wins in the same month, over multiple years? That's not just dumb luck — that's cosmic trolling. Meanwhile, the rest of us are out here rationing gas station coffee and yelling at our thermostats.

Every April, she apparently levels up. Is it superstition? Is it statistical outlierhood? Is it witchcraft? Who knows. But what we do know is this woman scans her ticket multiple times because even she doesn’t believe this crap is real anymore.

And honestly, fair enough.

There are still a few big-money tickets left in the “Money Bags” game, if you feel like defying the 1-in-3.5 odds and throwing your own wallet into the lottery inferno. Just make sure it’s mid-April and maybe swing by Howard’s Pub & Deli, because clearly something magical — or deeply unfair — is happening there.